When the going gets tough...
This post is long overdue. Been delaying writing this post since I first started my blog. Just can't bring myself into putting this into words. I'm sure by now most of you realized that I'm not a good writer!
On the 8th of April 2007, a day after my birthday, while taking my shower, I discovered a lump on my left breast. I was shocked. I thought I was imagining it because I have several patients who have lump on their breast too and I used to advise them what to do and what not to do. I checked...and rechecked. Yes, there's a lump there. It was as big as a 10 sen coin and felt like a soft marble. I was wondering how come the lump suddenly appear? I have the habit of checking my breasts whenever I shower and I remembered very well that the lump was not there a day earlier. I prayed to God for peace and strength. There were so many things playing on my mind that very morning. I try not to be panic. I know that most lumps are benign. Even if it is malignant, I have made a decision not to be too emotional about it. To me, benign or malignant lump would not make any difference to how I feel. The most important thing is that there's a lump on my breast and I take it as a warning.
When I told Jerome about it, he was so disturbed and worried. He asked me to see an oncologist right away. I told him not to be panic and told him that I'm a doctor to my own body. (I can be very stubborn at times!)He wanted to argue and even said that my body belongs to him too (We learned this from MER2)and that I cannot have full control over it! However, after some heated but honest discussions he gave in to my stubbornness. I respected him for that and in return, I promised to really take care of my health. I did not see any medical doctor pertaining to the lump for several months to a year. The lump did make some positive progress as it shrunk to a smaller size. I thanked God for that. Anyway, in June 2008, I discovered another lump. This time, it was on my right breast and was bigger than the original size on the left. Oh dear Lord! What is happening? Maybe my immunity system is down as I sleep very late and had only four or five hours of sleep daily. I have not been taking good care of my health. Am I being self-centered? Being me, I'm the type of person who is very independent. I don't like to trouble people but this time I really was worried. When I told Jerome about it, he almost went berserk! The following day on 24th June 2008, I went to Sabah Medical Centre for a mammogram scan. I did not asked Jerome to accompany me and I regretted it. I found that the mammogram was such a painful procedure. After the mammogram, I had an ultrasound scan checked. The doctor informed me that the lumps were benign. (surprisingly, I was not relieved by that fact). The next morning, when I woke up I felt excruciating pain on my right breast. To my total disbelief my lump had swelled to the size of a golf's ball. When I touched the area it was so painful that I almost cried. I immediately alerted Jerome. Knowing Jerome, yes... as he is the panicky type, he became scared and did not know what to do. I could feel that he was also feeling the pain that I was experiencing. I could not even raise up my right hand to change my clothes. I was determined then to take extra care of myself. I went for a total 3 days detoxification, just fruits, vegetables and some nuts and plenty of water along with homeopathy medicine. To my amazement the swelling reduced considerably and the pain totally gone! Praise the Lord! (will write again about this, got to end here as it's getting late)
On the 8th of April 2007, a day after my birthday, while taking my shower, I discovered a lump on my left breast. I was shocked. I thought I was imagining it because I have several patients who have lump on their breast too and I used to advise them what to do and what not to do. I checked...and rechecked. Yes, there's a lump there. It was as big as a 10 sen coin and felt like a soft marble. I was wondering how come the lump suddenly appear? I have the habit of checking my breasts whenever I shower and I remembered very well that the lump was not there a day earlier. I prayed to God for peace and strength. There were so many things playing on my mind that very morning. I try not to be panic. I know that most lumps are benign. Even if it is malignant, I have made a decision not to be too emotional about it. To me, benign or malignant lump would not make any difference to how I feel. The most important thing is that there's a lump on my breast and I take it as a warning.
When I told Jerome about it, he was so disturbed and worried. He asked me to see an oncologist right away. I told him not to be panic and told him that I'm a doctor to my own body. (I can be very stubborn at times!)He wanted to argue and even said that my body belongs to him too (We learned this from MER2)and that I cannot have full control over it! However, after some heated but honest discussions he gave in to my stubbornness. I respected him for that and in return, I promised to really take care of my health. I did not see any medical doctor pertaining to the lump for several months to a year. The lump did make some positive progress as it shrunk to a smaller size. I thanked God for that. Anyway, in June 2008, I discovered another lump. This time, it was on my right breast and was bigger than the original size on the left. Oh dear Lord! What is happening? Maybe my immunity system is down as I sleep very late and had only four or five hours of sleep daily. I have not been taking good care of my health. Am I being self-centered? Being me, I'm the type of person who is very independent. I don't like to trouble people but this time I really was worried. When I told Jerome about it, he almost went berserk! The following day on 24th June 2008, I went to Sabah Medical Centre for a mammogram scan. I did not asked Jerome to accompany me and I regretted it. I found that the mammogram was such a painful procedure. After the mammogram, I had an ultrasound scan checked. The doctor informed me that the lumps were benign. (surprisingly, I was not relieved by that fact). The next morning, when I woke up I felt excruciating pain on my right breast. To my total disbelief my lump had swelled to the size of a golf's ball. When I touched the area it was so painful that I almost cried. I immediately alerted Jerome. Knowing Jerome, yes... as he is the panicky type, he became scared and did not know what to do. I could feel that he was also feeling the pain that I was experiencing. I could not even raise up my right hand to change my clothes. I was determined then to take extra care of myself. I went for a total 3 days detoxification, just fruits, vegetables and some nuts and plenty of water along with homeopathy medicine. To my amazement the swelling reduced considerably and the pain totally gone! Praise the Lord! (will write again about this, got to end here as it's getting late)
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